April 25, 2020

Long ago, before the times of COVID19, Robert had his life all figured out. He was going to HMEA from Monday to Thursday, On Friday, he did different chores with me which might have included picking up and depositing his check, paying one of the utilities, cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, going for a walk to Stony Brook and eating in McDonald’s. On Mondays. Wednesdays, and Thursdays, Robert ate one of four dishes: hamburgers, chicken fingers, poblano, or eggplant. On Tuesday he went with Tim to Five Guys for dinner. On Saturdays or Sundays he either ate at home – potato with cheese or latkes or we ate in the restaurants on a way from one of the day trips.

No, Robert would not eat poblano, eggplant, hamburgers, or chicken fingers at home on any other day but on Mondays, Wednesdays, or Thursdays and only if on those days  he attended HMEA programs. That presented a problem when he had to stay home for days, weeks, and months. He protested vehemently when I tried to prepare one of the four dishes during the first week of “Stay at Home” advisory. So, for the first three days, he ate mostly potatoes with cheese and latkes for dinners. On the fourth day, I decided to prepare his food any way but during the time he was still sleeping.  As I anticipated, faced with such fait accompli Robert relented and not to let the his food get wasted, he consumed it, although a few hours before dinner time. The following day, I prepared his eggplant during the time Robert and dad took a short walk.  Robert didn’t mind.  Now, however, he decided to regain some control, and from that day on, he let me know what dish I should prepare for him the following day. Moreover, if he wanted either chicken fingers or hamburgers, he always moved them from freezer to the fridge one day before. He also kept checking if there were all ingredients needed for the dish he requested the following day.  If that was the case, he kept saying “store, store” and wrote on a notepad what he wanted.

With established dinner schedule, we moved to the next step in which Robert began to participate in cooking his own dishes.  He had used to do that when he was at school, but as he kept returning from his adult programs more tired and hungry I made sure (rightly or wrongly) that his dinner was waiting for him.

Eating apples at home was another issue we encountered. Robert ate one apple everyday at lunch time in his program.  He also ate apples in the car during our day trips. The apples belong to those times and those spaces. I decided to make a special celebration for eating apples together.  I told Robert about the special  apple family afternoon during the breakfast and the lunch.  “At 5 o’clock , we will all eat apples.”  . And that is what happened.  Apples were served in a glass bowl. Each of us reached for one that day and every other day afterwards.

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